My fellow Americans I greet you here today in molded plastic. Should you need to talk to me or hear my voice repeating my repertoire of statements... I am here for you! I understand there are those of you who question many things about me.... and I am here to set the record straight! I really don't give a lick about it.... I have wanted to be President all my life and the majority of the electorate agreed so here I am.... passing Heath Care Reform, restructuring the Supreme Court Justices. Hell, I even chastised the robes in a State of the Union address, first time ever, you know! And now I am working on immigration reform and Cap & Trade is on my agenda!!! Boy my bosses are going to be so psyched! You don't think I mean you, the people? ...No, I mean George Soros and Hu Jintao! Yes we can!